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Mac’s Korner

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MAC’S KORNER: Positive thinking for this Thanksgiving

Until further notice, the days of the week are now called Thisday, Thatday, Otherday, Someday, Yesterday, Today, and Nextday. What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop. Breaking someone's trust is like crumpling up a piece of paper. You can smooth it over, but it's never going to be the same again. Someone just called me normal. I've never been so insulted in my life. If you want to be trusted, be honest. Hello Jesus. I'm ready […]

todayNovember 25, 2020 5

Columnists

Mac’s Korner: Week of April 18, 2018

Mac's Korner: Week of April 18, 2018 I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to go wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. ***** You don't have to be skinny to be sexy or beautiful. Beauty is the size of your heart, not the […]

todayApril 18, 2018 2

Columnists

Mac’s Korner: Week of January 24, 2018

Mac's Korner: Week of January 24, 2018 To those who want to plan a family - take the woman's age and the month she conceived, add them together - if odd, it'll be a boy. If even, it will be a girl. It has never failed that I know of. **** I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, photographs and mirrors. **** They say we learn from our mistakes. That's why I'm making as many as […]

todayJanuary 24, 2018 4

Columnists

Mac’s Korner: Week of January 3, 2018

Mac's Korner: Week of January 3, 2018 If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there. ……. People say I'm dumb, but I earned a Ph.D. in Poopology, so there! ……. I don't mean to brag, but I put a puzzle together in one day and the box said 2-4 years. ……. Life status: currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. ……. Yabba dabba dude...is that you, […]

todayJanuary 3, 2018 3

Columnists

Mac’s Korner: Week of December 27, 2017

Mac's Korner: Week of December 27, 2017 Take from a man his wealth, and you hinder him. Take from him his purpose, and you slow him down. But take from man his hope, and you stop him. He can go on without wealth, and even without purpose, for a while. But he will not go on without HOPE. ……. A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak." […]

todayDecember 28, 2017 3

Commentary

Mac’s Korner: Week of December 20, 2017

Editor's Note: We apologize for the column not getting on the site on time the past couple weeks, but now it's time to catch up. There are three columns that are being written up today, which will be scheduled for today, December 20 and scheduled then for December 27 and January 3. Mac's Korner: Week of December 20, 2017 Ben Franklin once wrote..."Let no pleasure tempt thee, no ambition corrupt thee, no example sway thee, no persuasion move thee to do […]

todayDecember 20, 2017 3

Commentary

Mac’s Korner: Week of November 29, 2017

Mac's Korner: Week of November 29, 2017 A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a golf club wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened. "Well, it was like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows." "We went to look for it and while I was rooting around, I noticed one of the […]

todayNovember 29, 2017 4

Commentary

Mac’s Korner: Week of November 22, 2017

Mac's Korner: Week of November 22, 2017 Late one night in Washington, DC a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of Harry Reid and stuck a gun in his ribs; "Give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, Harry replied, "Don't you know who I am?" You can't do this...I am Senate Minority Leader, Harry Reid! I have been a United States Congressman since 1987. "In that case," the mugger said, "give me my money." .... Ronald Reagan […]

todayNovember 22, 2017 5

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