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Mac’s Korner: Week of November 22, 2017

todayNovember 22, 2017 1

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Mac’s Korner: Week of November 22, 2017

Late one night in Washington, DC a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of Harry Reid and stuck a gun in his ribs; “Give me your money,” he demanded. Indignant, Harry replied, “Don’t you know who I am?” You can’t do this…I am Senate Minority Leader, Harry Reid! I have been a United States Congressman since 1987. “In that case,” the mugger said, “give me my money.”
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Ronald Reagan once said, “Government view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases. If it moves, tax it…. If it keeps moving, regulate it….And if it stops moving, subsidize it. (1986)
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A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of beer and puts it in their cart. “What do you think you are doing?” asks the wife. “They’re on sale, only $10 for 24 cans he replies. “Put them back, we can’t afford them.” A few asiles over the wife picks up $20 jar of face cream. “What do you think you’re doing?” asks the husband. “It’s my face cream. It makes me look beautiful,” said the wife. He said, “so soed24 cans of beer and it’s half the price.” (You can’t argue with logic)
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When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body… men are so polite they only ;ook at the covered parts.
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America doesn’t have a gun control problem… America has a criminal entitlement problem.
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Monica and Dan are having their usual thing for Thanksgiving dinner : Relatives!
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I don’t like lipstick. When I kiss a girl all I want to taste the girl.
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Last month we all lost an hour of beauty sleep. Luckily Jeannie and Sandy can afford it.
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Happiness is an inside job. Don’t assign that much power over your life.
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Forget it enough to get over it, remember it enough so it doesn’t happen again.
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Stay patience and trust your journey.
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Stay away from people who make you feel like you are hard to love.
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A THANKSGIVING TOAST
May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey be plump.
May your taters & gravy,
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious,
May your pies take the prize,
May your Thanksgiving dinner stay off of your thighs!!!
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HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL
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Why are elections held in November? We are used to picking the right turkey then.
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20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs…Please God don’t let Kevin Bacon die.
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Always pray to have eyes that see the best in people, a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad, and a soul that never loses faith in God,
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Let all that you do be done with love. God bless and have a nice Thanksgiving. From Mac & Jeannie.

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Lyle "Mac" McElroy has gained much attention over the years by having his family newsletters published in the Nokomis Free Press-Progress and with the viral attention it gained through it's brief tenure on the PanaNewsOnline.com website, McElroy continues his tenure on the Internet to Heartland Newsfeed.

Written by: Lyle "Mac" McElroy

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