Until further notice, the days of the week are now called Thisday, Thatday, Otherday, Someday, Yesterday, Today, and Nextday.
What do you call a pig that does karate? Pork Chop.
Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a piece of paper. You can smooth it over, but it’s never going to be the same again.
Someone just called me normal. I’ve never been so insulted in my life.
If you want to be trusted, be honest.
Hello Jesus. I’m ready to come home. People on earth be trippin’.
Some days, I wish I could go back in life. Not to change anything, but to feel a few things twice.
A riddle from Mac
Here is a riddle:
What can fly, but not stand still;
Devouring all while eating nil;
What is wasted and never lent;
Never earned but always spent?
No love lost for wine
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine, sitting on the patio with her husband. She says, “I love you so much. I don’t know how I could ever live without you.”
Her husband asks, “Is that you talking or the wine talking?”
She replies, “It’s me, talking to the wine.”
Some good advice indeed
Here’s some good advice: THINK positively. EXERCISE daily. EAT healthily. WORK hard. STAY strong. WORRY less. DANCE more. LOVE often. BE happy.
People come and go, but love remains. Sometimes beautiful and sometimes a beautiful ache, but love always remains.
Self-love is the greatest medicine.
Choose kindness and laugh often.
People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is merely this: Things are being loved, and people are being used.
I shot my first turkey today. Scared the heck out of everyone in the Frozen Food section at Kroger. It was awesome!
Happiness is homemade.
Be thankful for what you have. You’ll end up having more.
Don’t forget to thank God for keeping you safe through the night. Don’t forget to thank God every time you awaken to see a beautiful new day. (I do!)
The aftermath of Thanksgiving
I have removed all the bad food from my home. It was delicious.
I’m just going to relax and enjoy a quiet evening at home. Mainly because I can’t afford to go anywhere or do anything.
I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.
Some people make the world special by being in it.
Happy Thanksgiving and God bless until next week!
Mac’s Korner is available in various publications across central Illinois. Archives
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Lyle "Mac" McElroy has gained much attention over the years by having his family newsletters published in the Nokomis Free Press-Progress and with the viral attention it gained through it's brief tenure on the PanaNewsOnline.com website, McElroy continues his tenure on the Internet to Heartland Newsfeed.
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