Mac’s Korner: Week of December 20, 2017

December 20, 2017 7

Editor’s Note: We apologize for the column not getting on the site on time the past couple weeks, but now it’s time to catch up. There are three columns that are being written up today, which will be scheduled for today, December 20 and scheduled then for December 27 and January 3.

Mac’s Korner: Week of December 20, 2017

Ben Franklin once wrote…”Let no pleasure tempt thee, no ambition corrupt thee, no example sway thee, no persuasion move thee to do anything which thou knowest to be evil, so shalt thou always live jollily, for good conscience is a continual merry Christmas.”

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This year, the Supreme Court rules that there cannot be a nativity scene on Capitol Hill this Christmas season. This isn’t for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men in the nation’s capital and the search for a virgin continues. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill stable.

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“Santa Claus is anyone who loves another and seeks to make them happy; who gives himself by thought or word or deed in every gift that he bestows; who shares his joys with those who are sad; whose hand is never closed against the needy; whose arm is outstretched to aid the weak; whose sympathy is quick and genuine in time of trouble; who recognizes a comrade and brother in every man he meets upon life’s common road; who lives his life throughout the year in the Christmas spirit.” – Edwin Grover

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I was a Santa’s helper when, “Santa, I need a hug,” I turned, and there was a lady in a wheelchair. I started to bend down to hug her and she said, “No, give me a minute.” She pulled herself out of that chair to stand up. She told me she had MS. I was giving her a hug, and she was crying. Her legs gave out, and I slowly helped her back into her chair. She said, “Thank you very much! I’ve never had a hug from Santa.” (A sad, but true story.)

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A PRAYER…A little girl named Louise had begin life in a happy-go-lucky household then went to spend a few days with a very strict aunt. After a trying day, when she had been scolded for her small faults even more than usual, she was overheard by her aunt while the child was saying her evening prayer, which included this line, “…and please, please, make all the bad people good, and the good people a little easier to live with.” (Amen to that!)

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3 out of 4 voices in my head want to sleep…the other wants to know if penguins have knees!

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A good laugh and a long nap are two best cures to anything.

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My Jeannie’s cooking is so fabulous…even the smoke alarm cheers her on.

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Need a friend, text me – need a laugh, call me. Need money? This number is no longer in service.

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My goal this weekend is to move just enough so that no one thinks I’m dead.

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Behind every crazy woman…is a man who made her that way.

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I don’t know what I’d be without coffee. I’m guessing 25 to life!

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I came, I saw, I made it awkward.

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When I get bored, I do crazy things, like going to Walmart and super glue some coins to the floor and count how many people try to pick them up. Also, sit along the road with a hair dryer out the window and watch everyone slow down. It’s fun!

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My grandma got my grandpa a new pair of pants and when I asked him how they fit, he said, “Like a cheap castle.” Seeing that I was confused, he explained, “No ballroom.”

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“I hate it when I wake up in the morning and Donald Trump is still president. It could be worse.” – Dan Quayle

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I was born in 1962. True. And the room next to me was 1963.

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Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Have a blessed Christmas! Jeannie and Mac

Lyle "Mac" McElroy

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Lyle "Mac" McElroy has gained much attention over the years by having his family newsletters published in the Nokomis Free Press-Progress and with the viral attention it gained through it's brief tenure on the PanaNewsOnline.com website, McElroy continues his tenure on the Internet to Heartland Newsfeed.