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Somewhere in the bowels of the earth -- hidden from your view, but not your employer’s -- lies your “permanent record.” It’s a little like a cold sore…it only shows up when you need to make a good impression. As I remember, teachers warned my about my "record" every time I got in trouble. If that record is still around, it’s got to be really long by now. Anyway, this paper trail supposedly follows someone to high school, to the […]
Yesterday I saw a national survey that reports people are ruder today than ever before. So today – along with my sound recorder, my friend Jim, and his dog Kitty -- we conducted our own poll. We asked several people “Are folks ruder today than they were 20 years ago?” Here’s what they said: A high school boy answered: “How should I know? I‘m only 15.” One man said, “Absolutely...and so are the residents of my planet.” Two men asked […]
Editor's Note: We apologize for the delay in content posting from Mac's Korner. We have enough content to last us for the next three months and will be queued up for publication every Wednesday. ************* Three drunk guys entered a taxi. The cab driver knew that they were very drunk, so he started the engine and then turned it off again, then said, "We have reached your destination. The guy gave him money and the second guy said, "Thank you." The […]
So, you want to move to a new location? Why do you want to move? Would you like a bigger apartment? Would you like a bigger yard? Would you like a bigger dog? Do you want new neighbors? Do want want a swimming pool? Would you like new neighbors with a swimming pool? First, throw away stuff you don’t need, like old gum wrappers, telephone books before 2013, and dead bugs. Keep important things like the TV, the DVD player, […]
Mac's Korner: Week of April 18, 2018 I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to go wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles. ***** You don't have to be skinny to be sexy or beautiful. Beauty is the size of your heart, not the […]
Here's another riddle: What can fly, but not stand still; devouring all while eating nil; what is wasted, never lent; never earned, but always spent? **** Years ago, a city fellow was driving through Nokomis when his Model A broke down. Luckily, it stopped in front of a house where an elderly man was sitting in a rocking chair on the porch. The driver walked up to the house and asked the man, "Would you happen to have a monkey […]
Mac's Korner: Week of January 24, 2018 To those who want to plan a family - take the woman's age and the month she conceived, add them together - if odd, it'll be a boy. If even, it will be a girl. It has never failed that I know of. **** I try to avoid things that make me fat, like scales, photographs and mirrors. **** They say we learn from our mistakes. That's why I'm making as many as […]
Mac's Korner: Week of January 3, 2018 If my body is ever found dead on a jogging trail, just know I was murdered elsewhere and dumped there. ……. People say I'm dumb, but I earned a Ph.D. in Poopology, so there! ……. I don't mean to brag, but I put a puzzle together in one day and the box said 2-4 years. ……. Life status: currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. ……. Yabba dabba dude...is that you, […]
Mac's Korner: Week of December 27, 2017 Take from a man his wealth, and you hinder him. Take from him his purpose, and you slow him down. But take from man his hope, and you stop him. He can go on without wealth, and even without purpose, for a while. But he will not go on without HOPE. ……. A man called his mother in Florida, "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak." […]
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