Mac’s Korner: Week of February 28, 2018
Here’s another riddle: What can fly, but not stand still; devouring all while eating nil; what is wasted, never lent; never earned, but always spent?
****
Years ago, a city fellow was driving through Nokomis when his Model A broke down. Luckily, it stopped
in front of a house where an elderly man was sitting in a rocking chair on the porch. The driver walked up to the house and asked the man, “Would you happen to have a monkey wrench I could borrow?”
The old man paused for a moment, then replied, “Nope, I have a few cattle, but it’s just too cold here in Nokomis for monkeys.”
****
While waiting at the veterinarian’s office, I overheard two women chatting about their dogs.
“What is your dog’s name?” asked the first woman.
“We used to call her Pork Chop,” answered the second woman. “But after all the vet bills we’ve had for her care, we’ve renamed her Filet Mignon.”
****
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
****
Dear McDonald’s,
Thank you for not serving hot dogs.
I don’t think I could order a super-sized McWeenie with a straight face.
Again, thanks!
****
Good advice: don’t promise when you’re happy, don’t reply when you’re angry and don’t decide when you’re sad. (Good advice indeed.)
****
As you grow older, you’ll discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
****
To love is nothing, to be loved is something, but to be loved by the person you love is everything.
****
What you are is God’s gift to you. What you become is your gift to God.
****
Why fit in when you were born to stand out, like my friend Ellen F.?
****
Home is where Mom is.
****
True love has a habit of coming back.
****
Hope is the only thing stronger than fear.
****
Complaining about a problem without posing a solution is called whining.
****
Don’t wish for it; work for it.
****
God bless till next week.
Lyle "Mac" McElroy has gained much attention over the years by having his family newsletters published in the Nokomis Free Press-Progress and with the viral attention it gained through it's brief tenure on the PanaNewsOnline.com website, McElroy continues his tenure on the Internet to Heartland Newsfeed.
