Satire/Comedy

48 Results / Page 1 of 6

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ancient food

Columnists

QUINN: Really ancient food

Sometimes I wonder how our ancient ancestors survived without food like breakfast cereal and ice cream. But maybe they didn’t realize what they were missing, because pre-historic television commercials got such poor reception. Seriously, consider the paleolithic period, which covers about 2.5 million years. Up until 12,000 years ago, these folks were hunters and gatherers. They just kind of wandered around, searching for fruit, vegetables, and slow animals that looked tasty. Their housing was basic. They lived in huts, teepees, […]

todayOctober 30, 2022 13

baked box cheese close up pizza

Columnists

QUINN: My favorite meal – pizza

Here’s a great question from a Texas reader: “Why is the pizza round, the box square, and the slices cut into triangles?” This is a complicated question for me. In school, I had so much trouble with geometry they put me in a simpler class called “Meet Mr. Number Guy.” So, I asked several people about this, and here’s what they told me. (What they didn’t tell me, I made up.) First is the square box. These are easier and […]

todaySeptember 2, 2022 13

candy

Columnists

QUINN: Candy – A sweet history

My friend Debi asks, “Why do they call the little candy ‘fun sizes?’ Wouldn’t it be more fun to eat a big one?” Wow, Debi, what a flavorful question. Let me chew on that a little with my sweet tooth. Candy has been around throughout recorded history. Actually, ancient civilizations prized it even before they made recordings. The earliest sweets were likely those made of candied nuts and fruits in honey. Centuries ago, explorers discovered the cocoa bean and cacao […]

todayAugust 20, 2022 9

cell phone mobile phones

Columnists

QUINN: A celebration of phones

If you’re like me, your life can be divided into two time periods…BCP (Before Cell Phones) and ARD (After Rotary Dials). Yeah, back in those ancient times a phone was stationary. It sat on a desk or hung on a wall, and you appeared before it when you wished to talk. During my teen years, I remember a kitchen phone with a 40-foot extension. After dialing, I could walk anywhere its coiled cord would reach. For semi-private calls, I’d go […]

todayJanuary 29, 2022 25

short attention span

Columnists

QUINN: Attention spans

Do people today really have shorter attention spans? Well, it appears that because multiple messages bombard us daily, we mentally “delete” those we don’t currently need. (This explains why some folks forget what they had for breakfast, or why I call so many of my friends “Pal.”) Latest reports – compiled by scientists who pay attention – set the average adult attention span at only eight minutes. It’s reportedly even shorter if you’re a dog, and shorter still if you’re […]

todayJanuary 1, 2022 12

Goldilocks

Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Goldilocks and the bears

What’s the real meaning of the fairy tale about Goldilocks? To be frank (although Frank is not my name), “Goldilocks and the Three Bears” is more confusing than a stop sign on a roller coaster track. First, you gotta accept that a bear family owns a fancy two-story deep in the woods. These beasts wake one morning, choose porridge instead of raw animal parts, then go for a walk while it cools. Obviously, rich bears buy quality products like silver […]

todayOctober 2, 2021 23

modern history

Columnists

RIX QUINN’S MINUTE STORY: Modern history?

My friend Jim talks to middle school students about history. He starts off by asking what each of them knows about the past. “There are two types of history: ancient and modern,” one kid told him. “Modern is what happened in the last few years. Ancient was a long time ago…about 1970 or before.” When Jim told the guy he remembered 1970, the boy stared at him like he was a fossil. “Wow,” he marveled, “I can’t believe you’re still […]

todaySeptember 4, 2021 8

fireflies

Columnists

QUINN: A glowing report on fireflies

What, exactly, makes fireflies so appealing? A guy once told me he figured fireflies and mosquitoes work together. When folks are trying to chase elusive fireflies, the mosquitoes take advantage of this to suck their blood. I agree that fireflies and mosquitoes probably cooperate. I don’t know what the firefly gets, but the mosquito wins a meal with mood lighting. Fireflies – also called “lightning bugs” – are actually beetles. Their flickering glow comes from luciferin, a chemical their bodies […]

todayJuly 17, 2021 5

three little pigs

Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Three pigs

With time on my hands and no summer trips planned, I’ve been reading a book of fairy tales. I’ve found many versions of the Three Pigs classic. Here’s a condensed story. An old sow supports three grown sons. She tires of feeding them, and tells the boys to go “seek your fortune.” This means, “Get a job, you slovenly swine.” So, Pig # 1 quickly builds a straw home and straw bed. The lazy hog promptly falls asleep on it, […]

todayJuly 3, 2021 7

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