A moral lesson with a sense of humor
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons – Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who gets the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. “If Jesus were sitting here,” she said. “He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'” Kevin turns to his younger brother. “Ryan, you be Jesus!” Kevin exclaims.Getting old sucks
Old is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes. You’re barefoot. Old is when getting lucky means finding your car in the parking lot on your first try. Old is when you don’t care where your wife goes. As long as you don’t have to go along.Mac’s mini quips, part 1
Jeannie and I have a strange and wonderful relationship. I’m strange. Jeannie is wonderful! Me and you are friends. So if you smile, I smile. If I hurt, you hurt. If you cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge, and I’m really gonna miss you. Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy. Some people need a sympathetic pat on the head. With a hammer.Some quips about being a retiree
Yippie, I woke up! Why retirees are always so happy. Retirement — the pay isn’t great, but the hours are great! Enjoy life. It has an expiration date. It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult. I am not a “glass half full” type of person. I am a “Where did I put my glass?” kind of person.Mac’s final thought for this week
The boss does not sleep. He rests. The boss is never late. He’s just experiencing a delay. The boss never leaves work. His presence is often required elsewhere. God bless until next week!For more columnist pieces, follow Heartland Newsfeed @HLNF_Bulletin on Twitter. (We’d have you follow Mac on social media, but he doesn’t really do social media.) Additionally, you can follow Heartland Newsfeed on Facebook and Reddit among other platforms. You can now follow our news updates on Telegram, Flote, and MeWe. Support independent journalism. Become a patron on Patreon for as little as $1 a month. There are other donor options as well.
Lyle "Mac" McElroy has gained much attention over the years by having his family newsletters published in the Nokomis Free Press-Progress and with the viral attention it gained through it's brief tenure on the PanaNewsOnline.com website, McElroy continues his tenure on the Internet to Heartland Newsfeed.