MAC’S KORNER: February 3, 2021

February 3, 2021 17

This edition of Mac’s Korner was based on various pieces previously under publication between 2017 and 2020.

A moral lesson with a sense of humor

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons – Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3.

The boys began to argue over who gets the first pancake.

Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.

“If Jesus were sitting here,” she said. “He would say, ‘Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'”

Kevin turns to his younger brother.

“Ryan, you be Jesus!” Kevin exclaims.

Getting old sucks

Old is when your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes. You’re barefoot.

Old is when getting lucky means finding your car in the parking lot on your first try.

Old is when you don’t care where your wife goes. As long as you don’t have to go along.

Mac’s mini quips, part 1

Jeannie and I have a strange and wonderful relationship. I’m strange. Jeannie is wonderful!

Me and you are friends. So if you smile, I smile. If I hurt, you hurt. If you cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge, and I’m really gonna miss you.

Mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy.

Some people need a sympathetic pat on the head. With a hammer.

Some quips about being a retiree

Yippie, I woke up! Why retirees are always so happy.

Retirement — the pay isn’t great, but the hours are great!

Enjoy life. It has an expiration date.

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult.

I am not a “glass half full” type of person. I am a “Where did I put my glass?” kind of person.

Mac’s final thought for this week

The boss does not sleep. He rests.

The boss is never late. He’s just experiencing a delay.

The boss never leaves work. His presence is often required elsewhere.

God bless until next week!

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Lyle "Mac" McElroy

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Lyle "Mac" McElroy has gained much attention over the years by having his family newsletters published in the Nokomis Free Press-Progress and with the viral attention it gained through it's brief tenure on the PanaNewsOnline.com website, McElroy continues his tenure on the Internet to Heartland Newsfeed.