MAC’S KORNER: January 27, 2021

This edition of Mac’s Korner was based on various pieces previously under publication between 2017 and 2020.

Henry Ford: a resourceful man

Henry Ford was born July 30, 1863, and can be considered a resourceful man. In 1908, his Ford Motor Company would develop the first moving automotive assembly line. This would allow for him to make cars more quickly and sell them cheaply. Soon, everyone was “hitting the highways.” He would patent the first plastic-body car, using soybean products to produce the plastic. It was said that he would spend $1 million during the Depression in the development of the soybean. The mobilization of his factories for the war effort would produce bombers, Jeeps, and tanks in World War II. He would even tell his supplier to pack gears in a crate for a certain size. The crates would later be repurposable as floorboards for his Model T and Model A cars. Ford would die on April 7, 1947.

Lawyer shows concern in the doctor’s office

A lawyer had just undergone surgery. Coming out of anesthesia, he would ask, “Why are all the blinds drawn, Doctor?” The doctor would reply, “There’s a big fire across the street. We didn’t want to wake you up and think the operation was a failure.”

The kid and the coin-swallowing incident

A kid would swallow a coin. It would get stuck in his throat. His mother yelled for help. A man in passing hit the kid in the small of his back. Out came the coin. “I don’t know to thank you, Doc,” the mother said. “I’m not a doctor,” the man would reply. “I’m from the IRS.”

Is Mac drinking and riding the carousel?

You’re riding a horse at full speed. There’s a giraffe next to you, and a lion is chasing you. What do you do? Get your drunk butt off the carousel.

Honesty goes a long way

As my wife and I got off the train, the porter panted up to us with my wife’s purse. He would refuse a reward, but he was curious. “If I’m not being too personal, ma’am,” the porter said. “I’d like to know how much money you had in that bag.” My wife told him. He took out a little notebook, adding a figure at the bottom of a long column. He would state, “I’m just keeping track of how much it’s costing me to be honest.”

Mac’s final quips for the week

Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. Help end the violence — eat bacon! I need a huge amount of money. They say, “Don’t try this at home.” So…I’m coming over to your house to try it. God bless until next week!

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