MAC’S KORNER: Crossing tracks and crossing hearts

After a tiring day, a railroad commuter settled down in her seat and closed her eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cellphone and started talking in a loud voice.

“Hi, sweetheart, it’s Eric. I’m on the train. Yes, I know it’s the 6:30 and not the 4:30, but I had a long meeting.”

“No, honey, not with that blonde from accounting. It was with the boss.”

“No, sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life. Yes, I’m sure. Cross my heart.”

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly when the young woman sitting next to him had enough.

She leaned over and said into the phone, “Eric, darling, hang up the phone.”

Eric doesn’t use his cellphone in public any longer.

Dear Abby at a loss for words

Abby admitted she was at a loss to answer the following:

“Dear Abby, I joined the Navy to see the world. I’ve seen it. Now how do I get out?”

“Dear Abby, I’ve been married to Bill for about three months and I didn’t know he drank until one night he came home sober.”

Not jealous, just territorial

I’m not jealous. I’m just territorial. Jealous is when you want something that’s not yours. Territorial is protecting what’s already yours.

Other tidbits

I’m having people over to stare at their cellphones later if you want to come by.

I hope I never go to jail because I haven’t memorized a phone number since 2001.

Do it if it makes you happy.

Motherhood: A story about coffee getting cold.

During the day, I don’t believe in ghosts. At night, I become a bit more open-minded.

If you think women are the weaker sex, try pulling the blanked back to your side.

God bless till next week.

Mac’s Korner is available in various publications across central Illinois. Archives

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Lyle "Mac" McElroy

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Lyle "Mac" McElroy has gained much attention over the years by having his family newsletters published in the Nokomis Free Press-Progress and with the viral attention it gained through it's brief tenure on the PanaNewsOnline.com website, McElroy continues his tenure on the Internet to Heartland Newsfeed.

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  MAC'S KORNER: February 10, 2021
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  MAC'S KORNER: February 3, 2021
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  MAC'S KORNER: January 27, 2021
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  MAC'S KORNER: January 20, 2021