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Satire/Comedy

49 Results / Page 3 of 6

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Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Cheap weddings

My cheap friend Buddy -- who’s tighter than last year’s thong—got married last year. Below is his advice. But my guess is, most brides would veto all these ideas: Location? Ask a friend with a big den to borrow his house. If you remove the furniture, and guests stand up, you can squeeze more in. (And maybe if you invite the neighbors, they’ll let you park cars in their driveways.) Invitations? Handwritten invitations add a personal touch, especially if scribbled […]

todayAugust 28, 2019

school lunches
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Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: School lunches

It’s been a long time since elementary school, but I still remember those cafeteria lunches. Back then they cost 27 cents each…a great bargain for a hungry ten-year-old. First choice on the cafeteria menu was meat. Most likely it came from the chicken or cow family. If not, it had been an animal at some point in its past. That meat was burger-sized, covered with batter, fried to a golden tan and drowned in grayish-white gravy. It looked like a […]

todayAugust 24, 2019

Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Body odor

Body odor comes in all shapes and sizes, from all directions. The first culprit can be bad breath. Some experts recommend tooth brushing twice a day, and flossing. Some also recommend using a tongue scraper, but never in the middle of a party, especially if one is serving finger food. To check your own breath, lick the back of your freshly washed hand, wait for the saliva to evaporate, then smell it. Never lick a dirty hand, or one that […]

todayAugust 21, 2019

Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Dandelions

I got a letter asking me this: “Dandelions will grow in my yard, even if I spray weed killer on them, or cut them up. But I have never, ever been able to raise a dandelion in a pot! Why is this?” My first thought was, “Why did somebody ask me? I know only three things about flowers…they’re pretty, brides carry them at weddings, and my wife likes to receive them almost anytime. (Note to self: Think about buying wife […]

todayAugust 14, 2019

business career office space brand workplace employees company time affirmations
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Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: The idea of business

Whoever came up with the idea of business must have been a genius. Without it, we would probably have no money, no banks, no stores, and – worst of all – no fashion. Business is likely as old as the first person who wanted to trade one thing for another. One Neanderthal approached a neighbor, asking, “How about me trade you this fine milk cow for your cranky goat?” The second man misunderstood…and swapped his brother for a cow. But […]

todayAugust 7, 2019

remembered
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Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: How do you want to be remembered?

Several years ago, my father stood with head bowed at a graveside funeral service. As the minister spoke, Dad began reading tombstones immediately nearby. One caught his eye. Just below the birth and death dates were three words: “He grew peaches.” What a revelation, he thought. A man’s entire career summed up in one single phrase. Dad said it made him think about how many notable people get remembered for one thing only. What comes to mind when you think […]

todayJune 8, 2019

spring cleaning
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Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Spring cleaning

At lunch a few days ago, my friend Tom said he and his wife planned a “spring cleaning” weekend. What a waste of two days! But after I got home, I researched the subject. Actually, this annual ritual is older than athlete’s foot. Even primitive tree dwellers cleaned their nests each April by sweeping away dead branches, poisonous snakes, and out-of-fashion animal skins. So, I wrote down a few suggestions to help speed through this horrible chore. Wear old clothes, […]

todayApril 13, 2019

Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Baseball

Hey, it's baseball season! This game requires a glove and a moving bat, but it's got nothing to do with vampires. It takes place on a "diamond," or four bases arranged in a square. There aren't real diamonds involved, so players won't get distracted by bright stones. Offensive players take turns trying to hit a ball thrown by the defensive team's pitcher. However, if the batter thumps the other team's player or an umpire with his bat, he might be […]

todayApril 6, 2019

moving day
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Columnists

Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Moving day

Many of us consider moving days stressful. Moves scared me so much I bought a book on getting organized…but then I lost it. But here’s what I remember about changing locations. First, throw away stuff you don’t need, like old gum wrappers, telephone books before 1999 and dead bugs. Keep important things like the TV, the DVD player and that autographed photo from the mud-wrestling championships. Next, sort your papers. For instance, school papers go in one pile. Bills and […]

todayMarch 23, 2019

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