Rix Quinn’s Thanksgiving Story Extravaganza: November 22, 2018


Editor’s Note: Given that today is Thanksgiving, we’d like to publish a special edition of Rix Quinn’s Minute Stories. From the columnists, contributing writers and senior staff of Heartland Newsfeed, we would like to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving to kick off the festive holiday season.

Thanksgiving Meals
So, how do you plan to spend your big November turkey holiday?

On Thanksgiving Weekend, millions of us sit down to a home-cooked holiday dinner, a whipped cream dessert, then haul ourselves to the den for a football feast.

A true fan can view over dozens of contests that weekend…even more if he eats on a TV tray. After games, that same middle-aged fanatic can race into the yard to play football with guys half his age, trip over his dog, fall into a tree, then lie prone for up to four minutes. (My wife timed this when it happened to me.)

Football first appeared on radio in the 1920’s, but fans got bored watching a wooden box. So, some genius developed a way to transmit pictures over telephone lines, and created a TV screen roughly the size of a gnat’s pimple…way too small for football.

In the 1950’s, technology made larger screens possible, but they broadcast in black-and-white only. The confused fans couldn’t tell if their team was the one wearing black shirts and white helmets, or white shirts and black helmets. It got even more complicated when they fell on the gray grass.

But soon, color cameras brought vivid stadium scenes into our homes. We could then view green turf, the homecoming queen’s red roses, and – on cold days – blue cheerleaders.

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Want Rix to record Minute Stories for your company? For details, e-mail him at rix@rixquinn.com or call him at 817-920-7999.

Every few years we host a big Thanksgiving meal at our house. Since I’m a vegetarian, sometimes the crowd is slim because I advise guests to “bring your own bird.”

But I think most of us can agree that — whatever the menu — Thanksgiving is a special day.

Following are answers to commonly asked questions:

Do many people prefer frozen turkeys? No, they should always be cooked first.

If the turkey gets chilled, should I cover it? Why do you think they invented the term “dressing?”

How does one prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving? If it is dead, cook it for a real long time. If it is alive, prepare it by saying: “Tom, have you ever visited a processing plant?”

How does one stuff a turkey? I am clueless. We suggest you consult a taxidermist.

What does one serve with turkey? Some offer mashed potatoes, green peas, or cranberry sauce. My cheap friend Ralph grinds it in a blender, serves it in milkshake glasses, and calls it “turkey in the straw.”

How many football games get televised that weekend? Well over 7,000, not including cable.

Want Rix to record Minute Stories for your company? For details, e-mail him at rix@rixquinn.com or call him at 817-920-7999.

Rix Quinn is a former magazine publisher who works as an independent biographer and broadcaster.

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