BURCHAM: Keeping calm during political conversations

Illinois Extension Educator Tessa Hobbs-Curley recently posted this article on the Family Files Blog and it is super timely right now and an important topic to explore.

Tessa says:  It is August 2024, and we are in the trenches of political debate for President of the United States. People are passionate about their political perspectives, which is good; however, ideally, it is important to communicate respectfully, whether at home or out and about with others. No one should ever leave who they are, but we are obligated to contribute to the greater good, so showing respect for one another must be essential. According to associate professor Rachel Wahl, University of Virginia states that “For Democracy, Talking is more important than agreeing. 

 When you are dialoguing with others, here are a few suggestions for keeping a respectful political conversation: 

1. Identify your goal. Be a realist and understand that not everyone is going to see things your way.  Be genuinely interested in hearing another perspective on the topic because that is how we learn about each other.
2. Avoid making assumptions. Perspectives are not going to be universal. Don’t ask someone a question to interrogate but to understand the perspective honestly. 
3. Demonstrate empathy. Be aware of and share another person’s feelings and experiences. If a person brings up something and a specific word strikes a chord with you, don’t jump into an argument but ask clarifying questions. 
4. Always engage in active listening.  This is the intent to understand the other person fully rather than listening to respond. Think about how you word your questions. Use “I” statements instead of “You” statements. Ask for examples and paraphrase what you are hearing. 
5. Remember to breathe. If someone says something that upsets you, don’t forget to breathe, inhale, exhale, and practice meditation techniques before you say something you will regret. 
6. Exit with care. Know when to exit the conversation by changing the topic. 

If you don’t want to talk politics, then don’t.  You can choose to engage in a positive conversation by practicing these tips. We don’t have to agree during a conversation, but we need to model respect for each other. Too many people lose relationships that matter because they don’t remain respectful. It is important to think about how each of us can contribute positively to the climate of diversity, equity, and inclusion. 

Cheri Burcham, University of Illinois Extension

Website |  + postsBio

Cheri Burcham is responsible for family life programming in the counties of Coles, Cumberland, Douglas, Moultrie, Shelby and other parts of east central Illinois as needed. Cheri’s emphasis is on healthy lifestyles throughout the life span which include family relationships, communication, caregiving, stress management and human development including early childhood and healthy aging. Her passion is to help people to be their best selves and to promote a healthier, independent older population.

• Cheri Burcham, University of Illinois Extension

  Creating healthy technology habits for families
• Cheri Burcham, University of Illinois Extension

  Create a saving habit
• Cheri Burcham, University of Illinois Extension

  Weathering the mental stress in farming
• Cheri Burcham, University of Illinois Extension

  Champion your health for Older Americans Month