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Rix Quinn’s Minute Story: Cheap weddings

Rix Quinn by Rix Quinn
August 28, 2019
in Columnists, Commentary, Opinion, Satire/Comedy
Reading Time: 1 min read
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My cheap friend Buddy — who’s tighter than last year’s thong—got married last year. Below is his advice. But my guess is, most brides would veto all these ideas: Location? Ask a friend with a big den to borrow his house. If you remove the furniture, and guests stand up, you can squeeze more in. (And maybe if you invite the neighbors, they’ll let you park cars in their driveways.) Invitations? Handwritten invitations add a personal touch, especially if scribbled in crayon on lined school paper. Instead of “RSVP” on the notes, Buddy added “If you can’t be present, just send a present.” Clothing? Buddy and his bride suggested a “tee shirts only” event that attracted all their friends, plus three jokers who wore tee shirts and nothing else. Rings? Buddy’s bride gave him a ring inscribed “14 k gold.” He gave her one inscribed “93% recycled material.” Something old? Buddy’s car has three speeds: reverse, slow, and downhill. Something new? His bride’s tee shirt said, “I’m with Stupid.” Something borrowed? Buddy borrowed everything, including the scented candles. The best man said his hair smelled like vanilla for three days. Something blue? The bride’s mood after two weeks with Buddy. INTRODUCE YOUR new product to customers with a short, radio-style Minute Introduction©. For more ideas on this – and an e-mailed special report – call 817-920-7999, or e-mail rix@rixquinn.com.
Rix Quinn
Website | + posts

Rix Quinn is a former magazine publisher who works as an independent biographer and broadcaster.

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Some rights reserved 2017-2023 by Heartland Newsfeed, a subsidiary partnership by Heartland Internet Media Networks and Heartland Media Group of Central Illinois LLC. Content published by Heartland Newsfeed staff is covered by the BipCot NoGov license. This allows use and re-use by anyone except governments and government agents. License on record. JNews theme designed and developed by Jegtheme.

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